HOW TO SURVIVE AN ANACONDA ATTACK

If you are ever attacked by an anaconda, do not run and do not panic. If you run you will not get away. If you panic, the anaconda will know you are alive and will constrict you to death. Simply lie down on your back and calmly wait. The anaconda will circle around and bump you several times to see if you move. This process might take 10 to 15 minutes; just stay still. Be patient and do not panic. The anaconda will then go to your feet and begin to slowly swallow them. Do not move. Simply remain patient and do not panic. It will take some time for the anaconda to work its way up your lower legs. Again, be patient and do not panic. It will take anywhere between 10 to 20 minutes for the anaconda to reach your knees. During that time you are to remain still. Be patient. Do not panic. Once the anaconda reaches your knees, slowly reach to the sheath on your belt and carefully pull out your jungle knife. Once you have a firm grip on your knife, gently place it, with the blade up, where the side of your leg ends and the anaconda's mouth begins. Now, in a swift and violent motion, thrust the knife into the side of the snake's mouth and firmly pull up. This will sever its brain from its spinal cord. Quickly step out of the snake's mouth and go back to camp. P.S.: DO NOT FORGET YOUR JUNGLE KNIFE, AND MAKE SURE IT IS SHARP!